I’ve barely been in Mexico for 2 weeks and have already learned and grown so much. 

I’m still adjusting to the change in environment with the group dynamic shifting (people from back home returning and the new girls joining us) as well as the new structured schedule. It’s nice to have an actual routine now with set times of when we’re doing what. Everything is very organized and our days are filled with activities. Bible study or worship in the mornings, life skill teachings, school worktime, ministry, and meals. It’s great to finally be busy (unlike Christmas time in Italy) and to be productive, but it also has been hard to balance work and free time. 

One of the biggest challenges for me on this trip has been finding alone time to recharge and spend time with God. There are always people around, so finding that time is difficult, but it's possible if you are intentional. For me, gaining that alone time means waking up early when others are asleep and going up on the rooftop to pray and read the word. I also have made the habit of working out even though I don’t have any weights or gym equipment. It’s not easy to consistently wake up every morning and follow this routine, but I do it because I know it will set my day up for success and align with my goals. 

Not having my parents around has really forced me to become more of an adult. I’ve grown in my discipline to do tasks even when I don’t always want to. I’ve learned to rely more on God and his strength and wisdom rather than always going to my parents. And I’ve learned how capable I actually am (with the Lord of course). I used to think I always had to be prepared or know things ahead of time. That I always had to have a plan for things to go well. But that is so not true. 

God tells us not to worry about tomorrow and to only focus on today because tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 6:34). God will take care of us like how he provides for the birds (Matthew 6:26). He will show us the way when the time is right (Isaiah 60:22). We aren’t meant to know everything ahead of time and when the time is right, God will teach us, will reveal to us, and will provide for us. Because that’s who he is: a God true to his word and one who keeps his promises. 

Oftentimes, I think people make too many excuses for why they can’t achieve what they want to in life. The doubts come in and flood their minds, making them try to believe that they will never be able to reach the point that others have reached. Accomplishing goals bigger than they could ever imagine. They don’t think they can learn or are smart enough for the task. They don’t fully have faith in the Lord and his capacity. 

The Bible says multiple times anything is possible to those who believe (Mark 9:23; Philippians 4:13). That those who have great faith can move mountains (Matthew 17:20). That those who doubt are like waves of the sea that are driven and tossed by the wind (James 1:6). God is so mighty, so powerful, so grand and vast, how could he not make a way for you to achieve your dreams? Why would he put so many dreams in your heart and gift you with talents to be of no use? 

I’m tired of everyone constantly making excuses for why they can’t achieve the dreams that God has laid on their heart. Why not you? Why can so many other people do big, amazing things that they never thought would be possible, but you can’t? If God provided for you so many times before, if God made this earth with such detail and creativity, if God led Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses in their journeys and life tasks, why would he not do the same for you? 

All I ask is that you start believing. Truly believe that you can achieve greater things. Chase after the challenge. Go after the goals that you never thought would be possible. Stop settling for less and thinking that you can only do and complete a small thing. Have true faith and belief that you can do anything. Like ACTUALLY do anything. And start saying yes more. You may be surprised the path God leads you down and how he works through you when you say yes more. The more you say yes, the more doors that will open and the more opportunities that will present themselves. 

God is not a God of confusion. When he wants you to go after something, he will make it clear and direct. It may not be 100% easy to get there, but there will be a knowing in you that the path you are walking down is right. A peace will fill you and you will know God wants you to pursue that particular thing. 

When the devil knows that you are walking in line with the Lord and are giving your everything to him, he will do anything in his power to try and stop you. There may be temptations, trials, suffering, sickness, and difficulty, but that’s how you know you’re doing something right. Life is much more comfortable when you’re not living for the Lord. But as a follower of Christ, I expect a life that will be filled with difficulty and suffering because I’m not living at home yet. This earth isn’t my home and one day, I will be home in eternal peace and holiness with the Lord. But for now, I must complete the mission that God has set before me. The mission to disrupt the evil cycles and to be a light in the darkness. To run the race and never give up. 

James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” 

I’m not living a life for me, but for the Lord. I don’t want to live a life for me. I just want to do, say, and act as the Lord wants me to. Because a life of servant hood is so much better than treating myself. Living a life like Jesus is so much more rewarding and fulfilling than exalting myself. When I look at myself, I realize I really am nothing. Just a speck of dust in the immense creation the Lord crafted. I want to be a slave for God and for him to take full control over my life. He has such a greater plan than any plan I could ever come up with for my life and his plan is so fruitful. 

I’m the type of person to never be fully satisfied with what I do. That’s probably part of the perfectionistic part of me coming out, but I always am looking towards the next goal. Always hungering to do more and be a part of more and learn more. Along with this, I’ve grasped a hold of the fact that many of us tend to only go towards the people that are obviously suffering. Those who are poor or sick. Of course, it’s good to go towards them to share the good news and love them, but hasn’t God called us to share the gospel with everyone? Those who are atheist, those whose lives are “perfect”, those who have much physically, but nothing spiritually. 

I felt convicted hearing these words in our group Bible study this morning. I want to hunger more to talk to EVERY person about Jesus. Not just those who are “easier” to love and share the gospel with, but every person I encounter, even if it's harder to share my faith with them and why I believe what I believe. I should want them to be saved so much that I am willing to take the harder route, the extra step, to share my faith. 

I don’t want to back down from sharing my faith because I’m afraid I won’t know the answer or I’m not confident enough in my beliefs. 1 Peter 3:15 says we should be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks for the reason we believe in Jesus. If we truly, fully love Jesus, we should be willing to go the extra mile to learn more about his character and his word, even if it takes longer to fully comprehend and understand it. God is complex and we will never fully understand his workings, but the more we press in and ask for that understanding, the more he will reveal to us and help us gain knowledge. 

There was an analogy that I also heard today about God’s presence and how it's like a boy and his kite. The boy is holding the kite and it’s so high up that he can’t see the kite. Someone asks him, “How do you know the kite is there if you can’t see it?” and the boy responds with “I can feel the tug.” That’s how it is with the Lord and his presence a lot of the time. We can’t see him physically and don’t always know if he’s working or if he is even there. But he is and he reveals that through the tug, the connection to his spirit. 

Finally, one other big lesson that I’ve learned is not judging others and looking towards myself instead. The verse I’ve heard time and time again in Matthew 7 says it perfectly by saying “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Instead of blaming and judging others for situations, I’m choosing to look at myself first. Having the conversations I need to have out of love and looking at the areas I need to grow in. 

The ministry has been amazing! We have had countless opportunities to spend time with the kids! The girls always want to hang out drawing with chalk, watching movies together, doing our hair, and making bracelets. As a team, we have been making an effort to teach the kids English which has been somewhat difficult, but we are trying our best to get creative in helping them learn. Today, we played some relay games with the kids and made them say sentences in English before shooting a basket. I seriously love these kids so much and see Jesus in all of them. In the pure joy on their faces and their laughter. In the way they take care of each other and love each other. It’s so beautiful and filling to see. I feel so blessed to be able to spend time with these kids and to share Jesus’ love with them. 

God has also been incredibly gracious in providing more than enough money for the garden (if you don’t know about the garden, read about it in my previous blog!). We are over our budget for what we need at a little over $3,000! Praise God! I can’t wait to see what God brings out of this garden! We still have much more work to do with planting, cleaning up, and building. I have faith we will finish everything in time before we have to leave for Guatemala, but I would still love prayers on being efficient in getting things done. 

For prayer requests, I would love prayer over… 

• making an impact in the orphanage community by showing the love of Jesus

• healing in the kids hearts and minds over their past lives where they came from and surrendering it all to Jesus

• having a continuous hunger and thirst for the Lord

• a smooth unfolding in the next steps towards what God has planned for me in the next year

• becoming more confident in my faith and in the word

• protecting our team against spiritual warfare and allowing God to bring about growth in every one of us

There is one last, very exciting piece of news that I would like to announce… 

Back in Albania, the Journey School students were asked if we would potentially go on another year of Journey School. Many were unsure, but some said yes, they would be interested (me included). Shortly after we entered Mexico, we received the announcement that Journey School year 2 is happening for sure! The countries are Japan, South Korea, Vietnam, Nepal, Thailand, Indonesia, and Australia. When I first heard of the countries, my stomach fluttered and I felt excited. I’ve been praying about it ever since, asking the Lord, “Do you want me to go on this route? Lord, show me. Direct me. Make it clear and evident to me.” And after days of praying this prayer, I feel like and believe the Lord wants me to say yes to going on Journey School year 2 to these 7 countries! There is a whole other story that I will write and share about what led to the confidence I have in this decision, but I feel sure that this is what God wants for me and I can’t wait to share more in my next blog post!

Thank you Lord for always guiding me and showing me the way, even when I can’t see it. Thank you for answering my prayers one by one and fulfilling the desires of my heart while leading me closer to you. Thank you Jesus for giving me certainty in the purpose you have for me and for bringing me to the place I am at today. Grown, renewed, restored, and confident in you. You have brought me so far and have changed me. I am walking in the light because of you, walking not in shame or insecurity, but in full certainty and boldness knowing you have my back. You’re so loyal, kind, and full of love. Thank you for creating me and giving me the ability to make an impact on the world, even though it's so small. Help me to be more like you every day and to never stop wanting more of you. I love you so much Jesus. Thank you. 

Amen

Hailey <3