This is it: The final week before I embark on the journey of a lifetime.
1 week before I faithfully and obediently follow Jesus into the midst of unknowingness, across the world in foreign places I know nothing about.
1 week before I’m away from my family and friends for 9 months straight, with only the internet as our way of communicating.
1 week before I will encounter challenges daily; spiritually, physically, and mentally.
The truth is, ever since I first signed up for this trip, I have already faced many challenges. However, the most significant challenges I have confronted haven’t really even had anything to do with being able to go on the trip itself. They have been more about my walk with God.
Over these past 8 months, God has opened up my eyes to things about myself in ways that I never would have imagined. He has led me down a path of self-healing and self-reflection, revealing to me areas of my life that I was idolizing over him and where I could improve in our relationship.
I’ve realized that for a big portion of my life, I have often put my self-image as my #1 thought rather than putting Jesus at the center. I didn’t fully notice it until I listened to a podcast episode by Girls Gone Bible on idolatry in relationships, as well as when my pastor gave a sermon revolving around idolatry.
“Why are you doing that thing? And does that activity glorify God?” he had said to the congregation.
He told us to think about our own lives and the everyday rituals that we do, whether that be physical activities, content we consume, or the thoughts we have. He wanted us to be mindful of those things and to make sure we are maintaining spiritual alertness by integrating spiritual pauses in our daily lives to connect with God.
After hearing this, I sat down to spend time with God in prayer later that day, asking him to show me the areas of my life that I am idolizing over him and where I could grow closer to him.
In that moment, I felt him ask me a simple and short, yet powerful question: What do you think about the most? Me or something else?
My answer came rushing in without a second thought: my self-image.
Over time, He has been teaching me that my worth is not rooted in how I look or how I think I should look according to our society’s beauty standards, but that my worth is rooted in Him. In His divine love and mercy for us.
It is not the outward appearance that determines how much and if you are loved, but the spirit that truly matters.
1 Samuel 16:7 says, “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at things that people look at. People look at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Genesis 1:27, 31 also says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” … “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good…”
God created each and every one of us uniquely in his own image and said it was VERY good. He says we are his masterpiece and that we are beautiful in every way. But still, what reigns over all is how devoted our spirit is to him, to furthering his kingdom and to loving and obeying him through it all.
I’m still learning to fully accept this truth into my heart by speaking his words to myself whenever I feel opposing lies arise. That I am beautiful just the way God created me and I shouldn’t let anyone make me believe otherwise. And also, at the end of the day, the thing that I should really be focusing on is strengthening my bond with Jesus and spreading his glorious message to others.
Adding onto this, Jesus has shown me how much power I have over the devil, just by speaking Jesus’ name.
When I experienced some pretty intense spiritual warfare back in the months of March and April, I felt like it was impossible for me to fight against Satan’s lies. It felt like his evil words were penetrating deep inside me, echoing nonstop with no visible end. I felt like I had no control or strength to silence him, and that his words would drag me down into a deep pit that I would never be able to escape from.
Genuinely, I thought I was going crazy because it seemed like there was no off button for the obsessive negative thoughts about anything and everything about myself. Everything pertaining to my looks, my performance in activities and my progress in life.
That’s when I learned about the power of scripture. Of speaking those true words out loud when Satan tries to convince you of the opposite.
Jesus demonstrated this perfectly when Satan attempted to tempt him in the wilderness after he had fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. In the book of Matthew, it states several times where Satan tested Jesus such as when he told him to turn stones into bread and to throw himself down off of a cliff to prove he is the Son of God. Each time, Jesus replied with words from the Bible, stating what God declares of him rather than what Satan says. And after Jesus had told Satan to leave him, he left because that is how much power Jesus holds over the devil!
Now, every time that I am faced with a thought not of my own, imposed by the evil forces of this world, I go through this process: recognizing the lie, reading and speaking scripture out loud that fights against it, and rebuking the evil spirit in the mighty and powerful name of Jesus Christ.
It’s like what another one of my pastors said at church last Sunday when he also preached about fighting and achieving victory over Satan: “It’s really not that hard! You just have to follow this process and you will win.”
All of this is to say that God has taught me SO MUCH leading up to this trip and I know he will continue to teach me many more lessons. I can’t wait to experience and to share all the things I learn with you guys to hopefully bring some encouragement to your life!
I would like to end this post with a prayer as I enter into this next season:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for granting me the opportunity to go on this trip of a lifetime. To spread your amazing message to people all around the world, to show your unfailing love and compassion to others, and to explore the many beautiful places you have created. I am so grateful that you chose me, out of all people, to embark on this journey. I thank you for providing my needed funds abundantly, that you kept me faithful in your plan and ultimately showed me how much you want me to obey you to this calling. I’m so excited to see what great things you will do in each of the places I travel to and how you will continue to shape the plan you have for my life. Lord, I ask that you will keep my team and I safe and healthy as we live in these foreign lands. Please help us to exhibit your qualities in everything that we do, that we will be good stewards and followers of you. Give us patience and strength when we face times of trouble and allow us to never stop loving, even when we may not always want to. I love you Lord.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Thank you all for sending me farewell messages and praying for me in this new, exciting chapter. I’m so grateful for all the support I have received over this past year and would never have been able to go on a trip like this without your help. Please pray for safe travels and that I am able to gather all the materials I need for trip. Talk to you all again when I arrive in the first country: Albania!!
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