Hey everyone! To be honest, I don’t really know what direction to go with this post because so much has happened throughout May, it’s insane. Lots of big life events such as graduation, my grad party, and the final days of school are all completed. Now it has just been a matter of developing my summer routine, continuing to grow and learn in my relationship with God, and working towards accomplishing my goals!
Looking back on the past month, there have been ups and downs, but much of May was filled with encountering trials and temptations from the devil, otherwise known as spiritual warfare. He would bring me down by speaking lies to me, like that I’m unworthy, I’m not working hard enough, I’m not beautiful, and that I’m not making progress in certain areas of my life. With these attacks, I have learned that the way the devil gets at me most in my life is in my head: in my mind and my thoughts. When Satan’s words entered my mind, I used to start to believe them. I would think “Am I really actually worthy?” or “Am I really making progress?” All these doubts would creep in and begin to pull me further away from God and the words he speaks of me. Then, I realized that this is exactly what the devil wants! To drag me away from God and to turn me against him. I refused to fall under his trap and instead of giving into his deceptions, I looked him dead in the eye and said “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ.” To combat these attacks, I have also been going directly to God every single time, whether that be through prayer or writing to him in my journal. When I say that this has been the BIGGEST help in overcoming my spiritual warfare, I mean it! I always knew that Jesus wanted us to go to him in our despair and in our challenges, but I never truly implemented that practice into my life until this month, so all I have to say is, thank you Jesus! A verse that I have been meditating on and that has helped me get through the warfare is a verse written by the apostle Paul which says, “No temptation has overcome you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). So from now on, whenever negative thoughts about myself arise, I am leaning on Jesus and asking him to deliver me and speak his truths over me!!
Another lesson that I learned recently is the importance of silence. Of turning off all the sounds, music, and voices around me and being present. I have found that the more I live in this stillness, the more calm and collected I feel. God has also been able to speak and connect with me more easily since I stopped drowning him out with the distractions of everything Satan wants me to constantly consume. Since doing this, God has given me clarity on thoughts that have troubled my mind. It was like my brain was finally able to untangle the knot of confusing thoughts circulating within me and provide the answers I was seeking all along. Because the truth is that the answers were already there, I just wasn’t taking the time to listen for them. Lamentations 3:25-26 says, “The Lord is good to those to wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” Jesus wants us to spend time with him in silence; to quiet the outside world and to devote our time and energy to him in order for us to grow closer to him. Ultimately, that is all he wants. For us and him to draw near to each other in intimacy and to develop a strong, loving relationship.
The final big lesson that God is continuing to teach me is patience. Patience for achieving my goals, patience for the future, and patience for myself. This has always been something that I have struggled with because I’m the kind of person to go all in to achieve something, but then wants to see the results right away. I am learning that it doesn’t work like that. That it is a process and a journey to get to a desired endpoint. Through the journey, I can acquire new skills and learn new lessons to attain my goal, and that I can even enjoy the process. If I was able to snap my fingers and get whatever I wanted, with no hard work, discipline, or consistency, what would the fun of that be? What satisfaction would that provide? It is much more valuable to get something you’ve been working towards for so long and that you’ve put much of your time and energy into than to get something right away by doing nothing.
I would like to leave off with how fundraising is going. God has blessed me with 86% of my goal! It’s truly amazing to think that in just over 4 months, God has provided $16,940. It just shows how true he is to his word of providing for us and how much he supports me in this mission. I’d like to thank the school for giving me opportunities to apply for scholarships to gain funds as well as my friends and family who are continuing to support me financially! I’m incredibly grateful for all the support and can’t wait to see what lies ahead 🙂
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