There are 22 days left of Journey School. It has gone by so quickly yet also very slowly. It’s weird to think that 22 days from now, I will be back home in my little town in Wisconsin and will depart from these people I have seen and spoken to almost every single day for the past 8 months. How is it that after this crazy adventure we have been on together that we will go back to normal life where it all started and where we came from? 

But none of us will be the same going back home. I know for a fact this trip has changed each one of us in some way, bringing us closer to the Father and shaping our perspectives on how to approach life. For me, this trip has changed my life and has been the best experience I have ever embarked on. Of course, there were countless difficult times, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way because it all led me closer to Jesus. 

Especially since being in Guatemala, I have noticed a visible difference in my growth and relationship with the Lord. It comes down to how much effort you are willing to put into knowing the Father deeper, and here in Guatemala, I have been pushing myself to go out of my comfort zone in ministry, in my quiet time, and with others. 

Evangelism is one of the ministries I take part in. My group and I walk around the central square of Antigua to have conversations with people, asking them if they know Jesus or if they want prayer for anything. I have had incredible conversations with locals and tourists, getting to know their stories of how the Lord is moving or even the struggle they have been through. It has made me realize just how much we believers need to be urgent and intentional about spreading the word because there are SO many people that don’t know the redemption and peace Jesus provides. Like it says in Matthew 5, we are the light of the world and we should SHINE our light before others so they can see our good deeds and glorify our Father in heaven. 

One day as we walked around the square, I noticed a man that we had prayed for before in the past. He has a paralyzed leg with rods in it and crutches to help him walk. We went over to him and began asking him if we could pray over him. I placed my hand on his leg and as Ethan is praying, I begin to hear the Lord speaking to me. 

“Tell him to stand up,” he said. 

Lord really, I thought. Do you really mean that?  

“Tell him to stand up,” I heard again. 

That’s when the hesitation and fear of man came in. What if he doesn’t stand up? How embarrassing would that be for me. These people will think I am crazy! 

So I didn’t obey and walked away. 

And then I felt the pang in my chest, you should have just told him. 

I could have witnessed a miracle, a healing, right in front of my eyes. By obeying, it could have brought this man closer to Christ by him seeing the power that God holds. But seeing a miracle or healing isn’t what I should regret from that decision. It’s the fact that I disobeyed the Father when he clearly gave me a command. 

I have been learning more and more that this life is NOT MY OWN. All I do should be for the Father. Every decision I make and action I follow through with should be according to God’s will and what he tells me to do. And no matter how scared or nervous or inadequate I feel, I should obey anyway because he knows what’s best for me and for others. If God is my number 1, my all and everything in my life, I should not be afraid of what others think of me or what I want. What my flesh wants. Instead, I should focus on the Spirit and what God desires for his kingdom. 

Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be called a servant of Christ. 

It is so freeing once you fully surrender pleasing people to God. I never thought of myself as a people pleaser. I usually don’t care much about what others think of me, but in that moment, I did. After realizing however that this life is only leading up to my life in heaven and the actions that I decide to obey from the Father matter, I have stopped trying to care how others react. Everyone is on their own journey with the Lord and in whatever way they look at me, if it's judgemental or hateful, I don’t care. Because it pleases the Father and that is the only approval I am looking for. 

For the longest time, even at home before I left for this trip, I have felt the urge to kneel before the Father on my hands and knees during worship. The weight of his presence overwhelms me to the point where I feel as though I can’t stand. A lot of times, I feel very emotional during worship as well and tears end up flowing down my face. Prior to coming here, I kept that all in, not wanting to be the odd one out or weird, crazy Christian. 

Now I’m over here like “Give me the title of being a crazy Christian! Call me a Jesus freak!” 

I don’t want any superficial, mediocre relationship with Jesus anymore. I want to show him that I love him SO much that I will look crazy. That I will get down on my hands and knees and worship him, meditating on his power and glory and goodness. Getting past the fear of man is the best thing ever and giving it all to God has never made me happier. It seems like almost every time I worship now that I am getting on my hands and knees and crying at the feet of Jesus. Why would I not? Why would I not after all he has done for us and for me? 

In the mornings, I have been making an effort to spend more intentional time with the Father as well. Spending more time in prayer, thanking him and praying for others. Diving into the Scriptures and truly meditating on what it means. Worshipping and exalting him, not thinking about anything else but the words the songs speak of giving him the glory. James 4:8 says, “Come near to God and he will come near to you…” I have experienced that first hand. God continues to show me more, grow me more, and allows me to fall in love with him more. 

I am excited to get up in the mornings now to spend time with him and really look forward to building our relationship. Before, it felt like a routine that I had to do as a Christian, but now, I understand the significance of getting in the word everyday and why strong Christians love it so much. Because it is with our heavenly Father that created all things and saved us from death. The one who loves us beyond imaginable that I feel more and more daily. 

My encouragement to you if you can’t feel his presence that strongly is to press in more. Spend more time in prayer, worship, and in the Scriptures. Have fruitful conversations with other believers about him and always pursue growth with him. He will show up. He is always there; he’s just waiting for you to reciprocate the effort. 2 Chronicles 15:2 “...The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.” 

God never runs dry. He is a well that is abundant in water eternally. Jesus says to the Samaritan woman that “whoever drinks the water that I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14. That’s the amazing part: the drink he gives us leads us to paradise forever with him. And while we are here on earth, we get the privilege of reading the book of life. It is alive and active! It never changes, but each time, verses stick out to you in a way that didn’t before, and I think that’s pretty special. 

One of my friends, Kenzie, received a buttload of mini New Testament Spanish bibles for a man she smiled at on the street. They began having a conversation when he told her he has almost 2,000 of these bibles at his house! She got 100 to start and throughout Holy Week (a major Catholic celebration here in Guatemala), we have been making an effort to give them out to people we meet and talk to about Jesus. What a blessing it is to have been able to receive countless copies of the book of life to give out to Guatemalans during this time! 

Most Catholics here believe in Jesus and that he died on the cross for our transgressions, but they don’t celebrate the resurrection. Sure, they may believe that he resurrected, but they don’t take it that seriously. They don’t understand the significance and joy that comes out of it. As we talk with people on the street, we are now sharing with them the happiness that comes out of Easter and why it's so incredible. Because his resurrection also implies we get to go to heaven with him after death and defeat death through him. Sometimes, I still can’t get over the fact he legit beat death after all the suffering he went through. How awesome is our God!

Currently, we also have some fantastic mentors with us, two of which are missionaries in Guatemala named Kendyl and Gabe. They have been giving talks based off of scripture to us and teaching us new lessons about the Father and how we as Christians are called to live. Gabe prayed for us to close off the time one of the mornings by saying “Some of you may want to reject this prayer, but right now, I pray for a fire to be sent to us that we will walk through the fire to you and look towards you.” 

I didn’t think much of the prayer until later when I really felt the fire. Overthinking thoughts, difficult decisions to make, almost all the girls in our group getting lice, and now my great grandma passing away, I can’t help but think this is all playing a part in drawing me closer to Christ to lean on him through the struggle. Also to have JOY through the struggle and to give thanks instead of complaining and falling down into the dumps. But even so, I am continuing to press on in the path that is set before me, laying aside every sin and weight which clings to us so closely, and running with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the founder and perfector of our faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). 

Prayer requests: 

• Finishing the year off strong (in ministry and fellowship with one another; preparedness for the next season)

• Protection and strength against the enemy (anyway trial that comes our way)

• Clear guidance for the next season

• Open heart and minds of Guatemalan and tourists in Antigua to the message we proclaim

Thank you for reading! God bless you all <3

Hailey