March update

I gotta say, this month has been one heck of a roller coaster! During the first couple weeks of March, I felt a lot of spiritual warfare like never before. I felt very tempted to do certain things that I once went to for comfort when I felt anxious and overwhelmed, like sitting in my bed all day to watch TV shows and binge eat. I also began to have many negative thoughts about myself like that I am ugly and not good enough, and that I should feel constant shame and guilt for the sins I have committed. There was one night when I was about to fall asleep and I began to have a panic attack out of nowhere. I didn’t think anything triggered it, but my built-up anxiety about the trip along with the Devil’s lies was too much for me to handle. Fear and worry seemed to consume me at that moment, and that’s when I knew the Devil was attacking me. Through tears and short breaths, I knelt before my bed and prayed to Jesus over and over again to relieve me of the attacks of the enemy and to protect me from the ways he attempts to lead me astray from Him. I asked that He would remove these lies from my mind and help me trust Him in the work that He is doing. I felt a comforting presence enter my room and the fear that was taking hold of me faded away. 

From that point on, I have been making an effort to prioritize putting Jesus at the center of my life and going to Him with EVERY emotion I feel, whether it be feeling anxiety, stress, sadness, or joy. It has been amazing how at peace I have felt since doing that; by simply just giving it all to Him and letting Him handle it, especially during these very busy moments of my life. Psalm 55:22 has been a big help in directing me towards the Lord with my worries when it says “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” I am so grateful that I don’t have to feel shame and guilt for the sins I have committed. I can thank Jesus for the sacrifice He made to atone for the sins of humanity by dying on the cross and forgiving us for our sins. In Romans 8:1, the Apostle Paul writes, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Instead of dwelling in guilt and shame, I have repented of the sins I have made and sought God’s forgiveness and grace that He graciously gives to all!

As for the progress made with fundraising, the Lord has already provided me with 15% of my goal! It has been awesome to connect with people that I know very well as well as those I haven’t spoken to for quite some time to hear about their testimonies and pieces of advice for me when I go. God has truly been blessing me in so many different ways recently, but one thing, in particular, I have noticed Him do is the way He continuously is connecting me with more and more people who have been to the countries I will be going to or who are just eager to hear about my mission. I have now met and spoken to multiple people who are either from or have done mission work/served in one of the 4 countries I am traveling to. I love that God is bringing these people to me to give me an idea of what I can expect when I go and provide me with more knowledge of these locations. 

Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me, either through their finances, prayer, or spreading the word about my trip! I am eternally grateful for all the support I have been receiving and can’t wait to see how the Lord continues to move through me with the meetings and conversations I have with people!!